Queer and Dating: Part 1

 You are at a party and your dude is right by your side. You aren't fond off public affection however the bond is strong and the bond is well over 9 months. As you guys have fun, their is someone eyeing your beautiful human. You don't think much of it because you are confident in how he protects your relationship. Even though your dude is not property, he is an investment. So their is a linger of insecurity filling the aroma in the room. Protection and ownership of a partner are two different things. We as a human race tend to feel like just because we provide for someone or supply a feeling of security that we own that individually soulfully. That is not true. People come together separate. People are born separate. and People die alone as well. Unity does not define a persons value. You are not their master. However, protecting what's yours is just  as important to understanding not having ownership over someone. Investing your hard work, money and time in someone is the most risky thing anyone can provide. Giving up your personals to make sure that you are consistently keeping your relationship comfortable is like a mother having to sacrifice for her child. The comparison does have some differences but both parties are still providing for another. And like all relationships, This should be reciprocated. With these protection comes healthy boundaries. You don't want to loose an investment due to one of the individuals involved not understanding what the partner likes or dislikes. This comes with boundary communication. There a lack of understanding what's happening in relationship because some of us believe in the love but forget what made the love happen. One of the many factors that couples forget about are the things that contributed to their unity is communication. As we know, the world we live in has evolved from the typical marriage to now single motherhood being a norm. Relationships are not defined by roles but what both parties of the relationship are willing to deal with. There are relationships now that support polyamory. Polyamory is the monogamy of 2 or more people. The only way the polyamory relationship works is that they put communication as their top priority. Also the boundaries of what they like and what they don't like in their previous relationships. They also communicate on what they want their future relationship to look like. This is not a way to own each other or keep a close eye on one another but to protect each other from physical and emotional harm. This can also protect the individuals in the relationship from future issues and heartbreak. To all my queer black readers, Do you own your partner or protect them? How do you protect your partner? What are some of the boundaries you have set so that there can be a mutual understanding? 

xoxo