Queer and Friends with Benefits (FWB)

    Playing the fence when you are a friend is a scary way to end a good relationship. Dangling yourself along the edge can cause a lot of issues for the friendship itself. Friends with benefits sends a message that you are more free than one probably perceives. The lack of boundaries one sets in a relationship that doesn't hold any meaning will always have a somber ending. Imagine the alien invasion. When they come to invade the earth, they tend to invade our personal space. The invasion impacts the relationship because its the lack of boundaries they had before coming to our planet. They set the tone. In a  friendship where you are partaking in having sex is opening doors in y'all's relationship. Is that the benefit? Not knowing what door your going to walk through emotionally? Everyone has done it. Thinking it would be better off just being friends and have sex but its still leaving a void in you. A feeling of emptiness. But I get it. The fear of ,waiting or seeking for someone to do you wrong when your heart is open. It's hard to trust this day in age. Everyone is either stuck in their phone or stuck figuring out who they truly are. However don't end something that could be very beneficial for you. A friendship has so much more impact than having sex with someone. The real benefit is the friendship! The actual wanting to get to know someone on a platonic level and support them when they are going through their toughest times. You learn someone better by allowing yourself to listen and learn who someone is and actually being apart of their life. Sex disturbs the process of learning someone from scratch. Sex adds an extra layer to the relationship. people Don't want too believe it but, sex does come with emotion. When having sex, you are releasing certain feelings and hormones on someone else. There is a transfer of energy that happens when creating an intimate moment as such. It disturbs the process of truly getting to know someone. Things must happen in a certain way to actually feel comfortable with someone to do it. And Im not saying that you have to do a certain plan or certain things have to partake but there should be a feeling...a feeling of this is what I want too do. Not just make this a thing to do but Make sure you also don't want to truly get to know that person.It's time to start thinking about the end goal of our relationship. This is a way to start making sure you are taking account of the relationships around you and understanding the value of them. Everyone is not meant to have friends with benefits. Also, Sex is not a benefit. Sex is a freedom thats expressed among everyone. You can get sex from anywhere. The friends with benefits should be that you are both reciprocating trust, support and positive influence. You are able to call each other and ask for large loans because you are trusted. You should be able to invite them to an event and they support you through your goals and adventures. When you are both around each other you should be able to have a great influence on yourselves and the ones around you. Thats the impact of a positive relationship. Friends with benefits is make believe and will destroy all parties in the long run unless they figure it out before destruction. And there could be a true understanding amongst two people who actually just care for one another in that space. But they've established real boundaries to protect themselves and the roles they play sexually in one another lives. To all my queer and Black readers, Do you believe in Friends with Benefits, Yes or no? If so, how did you end the arrangement? If not, what turns you off from the experience? 

xoxo