Queer and Not being ready yet

You don't have to rush. Please take your time. You are only in a race with yourself. No one else matters. This journey is for you and no one can take away what's waiting for you in the long run. This is your time to understand why your heart and mind made the decisions they made. This a great time to heal your mental health while your making sure your physical health also aligns. They say the best way to get over someone is to get underneath someone...That's a lie. If you're sleeping around with others and not healing properly from your last situationship, you're just harboring souls and bodies. Your literally a succubus, collecting many pieces of the people you've only known for 5- 10 min. Coming out of something short or long term deserves your undivided attention. Learning that your heart and mind aren't ready for a new love journey should mean more than finding a significant other to move on from your past. Deciphering between the decisions, the memories, the reasons, the why's, taking accountability, unlearning old habits, making a change, etc. all play a huge role in the process of healing. And not everyone takes there time or sticks to the program. You may fall or have a hiccup. You may think you are over it . You may feel like you don't have anything without this person. You may feel like that person is always on your heart. You may want to have sex with this person. You may want to tell this person how much you are sorry so you can emotionally heal. Trust me I get it. And I want to be the first to tell you that your feelings are valid. I know it may also seem easier to love or like something or someone, but always question everything that comes after. Question whether you it weighs you down. Question whether it triggers you. Question whether you are healthy enough not to regret a decision. Be willing and make sure you are ready to let go and live. Its ok not to be ready yet. It can stem from 2 - a century. Everyone's heart and emotional battery are different. Some people need a little time to recharge and some people's batteries give out. Some peoples batteries mysteriously give out and 20 years later they are back being used but used properly. When they say it takes time, this is true. We never know how long it takes to put our clock back together. Our personal love clock that is. You have to realize that the only real healing you can do with someone is therapy or them providing you the real support you need to get over what has stumped you from growing in love. If you aren't ready yet, some of the things I would suggest is to stay away from negative copping habits, stop listening to outside noise (Things that do not pertain to your situation), find some really good people who are not there to trauma bond with you. Finding all these healthy interactions could lead you to exactly where you need to be. Allow the chemistry to build within yourself to actually make the moves that will make you a better person at the end of the day. You'll always find love in others, even during your healing process. But during the healing process you will learn that even the people you have for specific moments, they are only there for a season and a reason. You can love someone forever, but when your purpose is over, you no longer affect them or the way they think. You are now a beautiful memory. So true and make the memory a good one and try to be a better memory for someone else by healing properly. Its ok to not be ready and ok. For all my queer black readers, Are you ready to date? What makes you know that you aren't? 


xoxoxo

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