Queer and being sober from people

Greetings my fellow Queer and Black Americans. I know I'v been M.I.A but I've been working on myself to prepare for this upcoming school year. I have been doing a lot of work within. I have completed 11 days of sobriety! And no, Its not hard drugs and no its not alcohol. I've been pulling away from people and learning myself way more. I've found that my alone time is more valuable than being around the people I was around before. You ever felt like you weren't taking care of yourself or you were loosing yourself to other people? Well its a horrible thing to go through. You forget about all the things you loved and like to do. You start to wonder who you are in the mist of people who don't even see you in that light. You even start to break your self down into very small pieces. You start to put the pieces back together every once and a while just for the pieces to fall apart over snd over. When someone is habitually doing this to themselves, the pattern becomes a viscous cycle. You start to hate who you are. You allow others to get to you. You even start to see a side of yourself that you never thought before. Instead of falling deep into a hole you wouldn't be able to climb out, you would have to make certain life decisions that will be able to change who you are and what you perceive. When you start to nurture yourself with alone time and distance, your perception of people and the world change. Sobriety could mean a lot of things for different people. But I am aware that in our community, we tend to stick around with people longer than we should. They see the light in our eyes because of how hard we work to be on top. We as a queer and Black community have to work 10 times harder to be better because socially they count us out. Its unfair and it hurts to be out numbered by someones ideal or what they perceive to be socially normal. However, we don't allow those stigmas or feelings to keep us back from reaching our full potential. It's kinda like the inner strength to get back up again. Its like going back to the pieces that keep falling apart. No matter what , we try to find the perfect adhesive to glue every tiny shard that was broken during our time of strife. I too believe that everyone in our community can grow from there trials by being more refrained and reserved. We are able to hone in on our natural super powers. Whether your natural super powers be education, cosmetology, writing, love etc. You will be able to gravitate those things to yourself because you are doing the work. Thats why I had to get back into school . The people I were around were not feeding me. they weren't;'t building me. Its ok to put people on ice. They never know how cold they made you feel. I know this from personal experience. I had one girl try to compare her situation to my past when she was living in it. Mind you she's older than me and age doesn't play a factor however, everyone should learn from others mistake and she didn't perceive me in that manner. So I had to distance myself. Its ok to be you in the mist of bullshit, its ok to just be you when everyone is counting you out. Its ok to be you just to be you. love and help yourself black and queer community. Don't feed the monsters but feed yourself. You deserve the love and self nutrition. For all my queer and black readers, how are you being more sober in your life? How do you detach yourself away from hardships and anguish? Do you feel like the people around you are for you ? 



xoxo

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