Queer and In corporate

 I absolutely hate it. Its not a place to be. I am alone in a world of the unknown. Doing peoples jobs and they aren't communicating at all. Showing up on time while others can care less about being there. Dealing with all their bullshit and having to just smile through it. Im already tired and Ive been at this company for only 7 months. Someone told me not to say things on here about myself but today I can really care less. I just really need to talk to someone...anyone. Im a writer and im in a space where my craft is not being appreciated. I feel like a robot walking into it AI factory. Ready to be programmed on what to do. My dreams feel so distant there. I also look at artists who get to fulfill their life through their mediums, while im here praying for god to guide me when all I feel is sadness because I don't feel comfortable in my own space. I should have stayed in my hometown but I wanted to be somebody else so bad. Running away from my problems and now Im facing every demon. I knew I had made a decision beyond my comprehension and look where it got me. I have my good days which are minimal. I had my bad days which are more often. Half of the time im trying to uplift myself to make myself feel better about what's happening. And a lot of the times I don't even understand what's happening. People are so happy with not performing but I want to perform better. I want to leave atlanta behind and I just want to love my life before this and love my family better. I just want to write and honestly live without having to make money or stress about other things but myself. I just want to be free. These people make more money than me and act like their lives are is much harder. They complain about things that don't matter and I feel like im the only one actually invested in the company. I hate that feeling because it's not even my company. My dream isn't to work for someone for years. I want to leave this place fulfilled and I want to leave it immediately. I am not happy here. All I'm doing is working for nothing. Buying clothes and just being present. Im actually thinking about staying in bed a lot more, I also think that I am burnt out. I don't what else to say about it but this. Avoid working for a company. Avoid working for people. Avoid capitalism. They won't understand people who are chosen to be better. Do you work at corporate? How do you feel/ How do you get through it? Are you a queer black artist? Can you help me? Can you let me know what I can do so I can be free too? 


xoxoxo

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