Queer and Telling your truth

 There's a lot of ways one can express themselves. It doesn't have to be in a manner thats safe or socially normal. As everyone has their vices and I do not judge. However, I do judge if ones truth is hiding behind a mask and one doesn't express themselves because of the judgements people may think or say. I only judge because I Want better for those and for those to freely say and feel as they want. We as a generation understand that they are trying to censor us knowing that the information that has been provided to us is very much uncontrollable. Have you ever felt like you are over dealing with people and just wanted to pursue yourself and dreams? Even if the money is good, you ever felt like you wanted to leave your job because the people do not align with you and your morals? So I personally am going through this and It is time for me to leave. The therapy agency that I currently work at is not a place I thought it was. The people are horrible people and treat and say things about their staff and workers like they are above them. Its sad to me especially when you have people working in the field to help those who are less fortunate. I also take it to heart because, I too have been in situations where I Felt like I didn't have the means and resorted to government assistance. They talk about that and laugh and giggle at peoples misery. I am over it and I have decided to move forward and manifest something different for myself. I deserve to be happy doing something else outside of them because I deserve to fulfill my hearts desires. You should too. What one was you is not you anymore. I truly would like to work in an environment that supported my dreams and not laughed at them or made them feel small compared to their bullshit. I have made a mistake coming to this job. And I do regret putting myself in these positions. They say, "push through and make your dreams work." They say, "go to the Job and continue to do it even if it is horrible." work should not make anyone miserable or upset to the point where I and Im sure others are crying in bathrooms or on the floor. Im tired of the executive team, IM TIRED OF MY BOSS. IM just fucking tired of working for money hungry corporate people who don't have a true sympathetic bone in their body. Its taking a Tole on me and I am praying that god puts me in a space where I will no longer have to deal with them. I have decided to move in silence and become radio silent to all of it. I have decided to look for something thats for me and not rely on them to make moves for me. Having conversations with yourself and people who care about your well being is so uplifting and rich. I thought complaining to people or speaking on what your going through can hinder your growth but positive and resolution based conversation is all I needed. Not from a. counselor but from genuine people who see the beauty in me and I see the same in them. One great individual who has had an impact on my life recently showed me the true value and doing things for you. He informed me of how I had been co-dependent. As an Open book I'm sure this will help those who are also co-dependent. However, when he introduced that to me I couldn't help but agree and understand that thats a trauma that I have held unconscious in my heart and comes out through my actions. Thats the reason why I need someone to make me feel what I feel because It feels good to know that I am not alone. Anyway, I realize that I am codependent on people I shouldn't be like my horrible boss or the people I work with. Even the jobs. I feel like I am very stuck on making other people feel great and needing their support to create my own ,life. Thats the answer I was looking for. Thats exactly how I felt. And I could cry right now because I never saw it until it was brought to my attention. I now know that this is something new for me and a journey I also must take slow. I am willing to take the time and give myself the love I need to follow through with changing my perspective of hoe I have been treating myself all along. And Im miserable because Im emotionally co-dependent to the wrong situations and people. and I must forgive myself for doing this to myself and others. So my duty is to be the change and release myself from these feelings and go somewhere that I am worthy of being valued as an individual and not because people see my trauma as a weakness. I am now fully aware that I will be distancing myself from them and I will be looking for a better and more fruitful opportunity. For those who are Queer black or American reading this, I have a few questions. If your are co-dependent How did you defeat the disease? Is it a disease or super power? I also want to ask, do people see you as a son when you are co-dependent? What actions did you take to release yourself from this spell and did you find independence?