Queer and being a man for once

Taking a break and looking at yourself is a true experience. I believe that introspection is the key to success. Or one of them. intropspection allows all humans to dig into what they are percieving in reality or internally. I believe as people we get lost in other people. For years, I have believed and supported others. I personally Think it’s because I too wanted the same reciprication. Sometimes, you can just invest your time in the wrong areas. It’s never about other people, it’s about how much you‘ve given to the narrative of “freindships” or “relationships”. It’s so easy to get caught up in your head or what people may say. It’s also a big distraction. many people tend to regroup and refocus so that they can create a lives of their own without having to have influence by culture, social media or even people. Being able to allow yoirself grace and growth is also another great thing. I feel like sometimes we hold space for people that has sunk into the ground. kinda like a sink hole. We have to move to better land find different people who aligh with us to take up our space. Thats why im personally looking for a new job. I know in my heart that I have taken up to much space and its time for me to go. I also know that the spaces I’ve held for people , i no longer want to hold anymore. I feel like as a man as well, i have to do this on my own. Its kinda like god is asking me to step into myself and not step beside someones. God wants us to be proud of ourselves Not always being proud of someone else. Thats true affection or at least for my life.…. But ive never been through this in my life. Ive been having doenloads , reframing of mind and ideas about what my life looks like in the future and if I even want to continue to hold space for the people in my life. i never think about how hard it may be to let go and allow yourself free range to be who you are supoose to be. I never thought about when it would be my time to shine or my time to be good. Im over people pleasing and making people feel good. I want to feel good and i want to be pleased and happy. Im over thinking about things and people i cant control. I just want to do me forever and I dont want to have anymore friends that are just there to keep up with. I dont want to continue to fall for men who play on my emotions and spirit. I want to build a village and continue to love indefinitly and complete of my life experience. Everything isn‘t perfect and every situation can’t be beautiful, but one thing i know is that, i create the space and world im in. I choose to make this sitations in my life beautiful and i choose to woek hard toward a more me esc. Relaxed life.

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