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Queer and being a man for once

Taking a break and looking at yourself is a true experience. I believe that introspection is the key to success. Or one of them. intropspection allows all humans to dig into what they are percieving in reality or internally. I believe as people we get lost in other people. For years, I have believed and supported others. I personally Think it’s because I too wanted the same reciprication. Sometimes, you can just invest your time in the wrong areas. It’s never about other people, it’s about how much you‘ve given to the narrative of “freindships” or “relationships”. It’s so easy to get caught up in your head or what people may say. It’s also a big distraction. many people tend to regroup and refocus so that they can create a lives of their own without having to have influence by culture, social media or even people. Being able to allow yoirself grace and growth is also another great thing. I feel like sometimes we hold space for people that has sunk into the ground. kinda like a sink hol...
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Queer and knowing enough is enough

  Honestly, I peeped the bullshit from the jump. I was hired on and the same day performing tasks that I wasn’t truly trained on. Then Had me train someone else on awhen I wasn’t properly trained. They fired her. I instantly felt like all the hard work and anxiety that went into me trying to train and make a difference was wasted. They had an audit going on as well. The operations director had a horrible sour attitude. I asked one of the employees that I was close to and stated, “Why does He have an attitude…Doesn’t he do this all the time?”  And she says…”oh its going to get worse’. Working in a corporate environment has been the most challenging experience to date. The experience is nothing but money driven. Having a position that really doesn't support one emotionally or mentally yet financially everything is clear. Not all money is good money. Don't let the money use you, use the money to your advantage. One will learn these things when one is burnt out of actual...
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Gay and Turning a New Leaf

I’ve been angry and upset for so long. I have harbored and held on to shit for so long because it is affecting my brain chemistry. I am young so I am still learning the true process of forgiveness. I am also still in the job of allowing myself to let go of certain issues that have stayed with me for years. I guess I was traumatized by certain stuff, and I have learned to block it and put the issues down until it arises again. It’s not healthy. I need to deal with it and move forward. Not ghost the situation or run away from it. I also feel like harboring has a huge roll in present day mindset and how one may feel. Even though what you’ve been through doesn’t excuse others to presently treat anyone like shit. But for one’s own health, it’s best to unpack, heal and let go… truly. I find myself being angry or upset about things that I can no longer control. Many examples such as, the urge to contact my ex-lover or the feelings I get when I feel alone or not heard…sometimes even the feelin...
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Reserving Myself for the Best to Come

The most extreme thing I have done for myself is to be quiet you all. I am so used to spreading my messages or myself thin to people who are just looking to have their battery recharged. People who don't know their power or their strength are not aware of emotional batteries or social batteries. They don't understand that it takes a strong person to truly want to be around other people who DO NOT resonate with them. As children or teens, it was easier because you are placed in forced environments. However, as one grows into adult hood, a lot of the decisions and problem solving tactics grow us out of those forced environments. We then become our own maker of life. The true controller of our board game called life. So having a fully charged battery to take on the world really means a lot. The only way anyone can truly reserve themselves for the best is to charge those batteries. Some people stay to themselves, others get pedicures. I choose to stay quiet 24/7 and only speak when...
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Allowing everything to flow

 As a human race, I think we have all been programmed to believe that our life needs to have our full control for everything to work out. Yes, Some things do need more attention than others. Some items may need more of a hands on approach. However, it is so pure when one has the natural power to just allow things to flow in and out. Sometimes you have to just let things go as they are. I've been in a particular stage in my late 20's where I just want to do the work I need to and be quiet. I almost would like to be a mute. Like I kind of want people to gradually leave me alone so I can grow in my aura and honestly its vice versa. I have been very chatty I would say with people on apps and in my place of living. I am kind of tired and drained of the people at the moment. I am not being truly fed by people how I would like to be. However, I am really enjoying school. I am really enjoying the fact that I get to work with people who are somewhat similar to me and have a somewhat lik...
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Queer and living in the times that we are.

 I am so concerned and y'all should be too. Like its so sad to see America do the same exact things they had been doing for years. The government is not for American people. The government is exactly what they describe it as. The government is ment to govern the people. Due to the false ideals that we are democratic people really feel like they have a voice.... Y'all we are just voting. NOW when it comes to the electoral college, senates and congress... we have a lot to say in those departments but the presidency is not truly in our favor, especially being a minority. I have completely lost hope in America and those who still support this as a country who believes in all the American people. How can 1-100 people make decisions for millions, they can't. It just doesn't make sense. Also, the way that they are going about it is insane. Promoting deportation, signing off on bills that continue racism and Jim Crow.... it's all so wild. Cutting medicaid so that people can...
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Queer and Falling into place.

 Solange said to  Fall in your ways, so you can crumble ,  Fall in your ways, so you can sleep at night Fall in your ways, so you can wake up and rise .  I also believe that as well. I am tired of feeling angry and upset about things I can't control. I find myself looking at a situation and making it the end all be all. I just feel like I don't do much to receive the flack that I have been given at this job or in any group. I just want to write, love, live life, have fun and forget about all these other people that I have to unfortunately work with. I really am gearing myself up for the next phase in my life and career. I have a friend who has introduced me to an amazing mentor by the name of Tiffany. As you all may not know, My mother's name is Tiffany. Tiffany the name is defined as manifestation of god or revelation of god. This makes me feel so much more comfortable. She's a christian woman, a writer and an editor. This is my dream to be taken under the wings of ...
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