Queer Writers Block

 Getting on the bus or train to work with people who aren't present and don't know how to do their job aggravates me. I've been trying my absolute hardest to do what I have to do to make sure I do my part but I personally feel like there comes a point where you are so far gone from helping other people. You become so numb to everyone that you just start to isolate yourself from them. They either don't do their job or want you to make up for their mistakes. I also feel like people start to care because time is being invested. Time is the highest currency. When you waste time,  you end up waisting money. I rather just do my work and stay to myself. I don't think any of these people are present. I get tired of talking orders from the naive. I want to just sleep all day until I feel better. Until Im able to write a masterpiece and finally can chill out. Ive been struggling with leaving my current job. They are not the people who need to be in those positions but thats w...

 I absolutely hate it. Its not a place to be. I am alone in a world of the unknown. Doing peoples jobs and they aren't communicating at all. Showing up on time while others can care less about being there. Dealing with all their bullshit and having to just smile through it. Im already tired and Ive been at this company for only 7 months. Someone told me not to say things on here about myself but today I can really care less. I just really need to talk to someone...anyone. Im a writer and im in a space where my craft is not being appreciated. I feel like a robot walking into it AI factory. Ready to be programmed on what to do. My dreams feel so distant there. I also look at artists who get to fulfill their life through their mediums, while im here praying for god to guide me when all I feel is sadness because I don't feel comfortable in my own space. I should have stayed in my hometown but I wanted to be somebody else so bad. Running away from my problems and now Im facing every...

learning what to do with lifes experience is the true key to success. Quantifying the most valubale currency Is also a huge part of being a better person for yourself. Im learning that alot of people don‘t Have the super powers i have. im ok with that. Alot of people dont have the right people for them. Im ok with that as well. I think for my queer and black community, the agenda of this post is ro address how we present our selves in situations that are not in our favor. Im learning To either Be solution based or to leave the situation as a whole. Im becoming more aware of my surondings As should you. As should everyone. When you start to open your eyes and ears and close your mouth. You start to develop a better spirit of discernment. Your body becomes more enlighted so does your mental. It becomes easier to let go and whay they say.… “let god”. i do believe that now. i do believe you are able to let go. And understanding letting go is not forgetting, it’s not forgiving. It’s about t...

 Who are you doing it for? Are you doing this for for your own sanity? Do you think the steps you are taking are going to be the right ones to put you in the place you have always dreamed of? You ever felt like you were focusing on things that were not good for your success? Its so easy to get distracted by your past or present addictions. Sometimes as a queer community we can be addicted to finding love or staying in the status quo. I personally think that people can be so blinded by love that they forget the goal. Even befriending people. The goal is to be successful. The goal isn't to mingle on your free time. Having fun is ok and making sure that the fun only lasts for a short amount of time is even better., Don't let fun or love distract you from your end goal. Love is a great thing but loving yourself is way better and if it means ti just stay to yourself. Even I am practicing abstinence and being alone more. I am also practicing not talking and working on my attitude tow...

       Ive been thinking and I don't know if It's me or everyone else. Ive been trying my hardest to collect my thoughts about everything. And Im just going to flat out say how I feel. Being queer, Black and educated, its hard to find someone of my race as equivalently educated as me to date. Struggling to find someone in your culture to be with was not a fear until now. Seeing how "black love" is suppose to be my love get out of jail card. For years Imagining that I would be able to support my culture. But when you start to struggle with something your limits become limitless and you start to think new things. However  this didn't just start from me "feeling"some type of way. I think trauma has a lot to do with our choices. Sometimes stemming from the lack of a father or black father figure in your life, men who have been horrible examples in your mothers life, or simply being verbally abused by men and women in our lives. I have been through it all. An...

It starts as a jit. It starts when you are young. I'm a testament. The hunger grows and grows the older you get. And honestly, this is just not for queers only. Anyone who strives to be Successful or a business owner, they have these similar feelings. Its literally an empitness in your stomach that you try to fill. Its the desire to be at the top and strive for more. Even though thee feelings are valid, There is still upsides and downsides to the way you perceive your own success. Anyone who is on the pursuit of success, has the feelings that they maybe aren't doing enough. I want to let you know that you are doing enough and if you feel like you aren't, than one may need to reevaluate what and who is driving your motivation of success. A lot of  the time, comparison plays a huge role in how one views their success. This can come from a fellow associate, Social  media, or even your own loved ones. It's ok to go at the pace you are going. It's also ok to make mistake...

 Education is the key to all the access you need. Education is the best impact of change. Education is the gateway to true success. I find that a lot of my queer and black peers are not as educated as we need to be. Unfortunately, everyone has different struggles and circumstances. However, that isn't an excuse. The excuses are ways to avoid change and true understanding. As we read this read my blog, this blog is to build understanding. I do feel as though the resources that are provided today have no exceptions to what we as a community can grow and learn from. Now I personally have made my mistakes. I do feel like my mistakes have been made socially. I have put myself in a headspace where I choose the wrong situations and people. I am now unlearning this part of my life. The goal of this post is to try to help my audience unlearn this part of their life as well. Or any part they see themselves falling short of understanding. However, one of the many issues that are faced in our ...

So Its real and its not fake. It can actually happen for all of us. We can truly be happy. We just have to find our own lake. Or maybe its the transition from Summer to Fall. Who knows, but  I am finally able to see how someone can become happy. It's like Toni Morrison. Toni Morrison didn't truly find peace until she found a lake in her back yard. I say this to say, to all my queer and black readers, Find your lake like Toni Morrison. She found a lake that provided her peace. As she was given peace, she was able to actually write masterpieces and be recognized for her artistry and work. Peace and happiness are simultaneous energy. When you are able to disassociate yourself from others issues and problems, you are able to find the peace in your own situations. Now this doesn't that trails will not come about, but what this does mean is that you are able to control the narrative a little more. Instead of feeding into what's not working out, you are able to feed into how t...

Greetings my fellow Queer and Black Americans. I know I'v been M.I.A but I've been working on myself to prepare for this upcoming school year. I have been doing a lot of work within. I have completed 11 days of sobriety! And no, Its not hard drugs and no its not alcohol. I've been pulling away from people and learning myself way more. I've found that my alone time is more valuable than being around the people I was around before. You ever felt like you weren't taking care of yourself or you were loosing yourself to other people? Well its a horrible thing to go through. You forget about all the things you loved and like to do. You start to wonder who you are in the mist of people who don't even see you in that light. You even start to break your self down into very small pieces. You start to put the pieces back together every once and a while just for the pieces to fall apart over snd over. When someone is habitually doing this to themselves, the pattern becomes ...

 Sobriety is such a beautiful yet jaded journey. The power sobriety has is so immense. Sobriety can change your life drastically. I am not just talking about sobriety from drugs. Some peoples addictions may be food, work, people etc. When you take a step back and realize what's happening, you start to see people exactly for who they are. You are not numbing your spirit of intuition. You are opening the flood gates and now you can see clearer than you ever have. People will also see a difference. This is a good thing This is the part where you set your boundaries on your new journey at life. Taking the time to be more healthy for yourself is what god wants. When you take the time to clear your body of the toxins, you start to breathe, eat and see things more clearly than you did before. Drugs in the queer community have become so prominent. We are very receptive of the issues of the world due to having so many people against us. I understand numbing the pain! Sometimes its hard to p...

 "You are going to hell." "Homosexuality is very close to beastiality.""You won't find love due to your gay experience." Are all the things people say to a newly fresh and outed homosexual. People also say these thing sin defense of their own personal issues. People tend to project Their own self hatred on those who are genuinely living their truth. People don't realize that they do this because they are either jealous of the genuine spirit or they choose to not have the capacity to grow or understand the true nature of life and god. As a queer guy residing in a not so queer world, its frowned upon for a queer person to actually believe in god. Unfortunately, its just not heterosexuals who say this but its also homosexuals as well. I personally, have had people come into my life who continuously disregard the work that god did for them, and I personally had to distance myself. I and every other believer knows what god has done for us. With a lot of...